Thursday, April 24, 2014

Quick Baby Check In

Quick baby check-in:

I continue to have contractions (not Braxton Hicks, like real-actual contractions), but no changes to my cervix, so we're still on this "okay to resume normal activity" bull crap. Even though the contractions are getting stronger. So blah.

Had an ultrasound yesterday. This little girl is already weighing in at an estimated 8 lbs 12 oz.

And we have four weeks until our scheduled C-section. Did I tell ya'll that? C-section is scheduled for May 20. If we make it that long.

We were told that her size, while large, is very proportional, which means they have no way to guess if her large size is simply genetic or is caused by the gestational diabetes. Apparently if it's caused by GD, the belly is usually disproportionately large, while Peanut's is not.

Not that it really matters to me. My biggest concern about the GD is that my sugars, while better, still aren't totally controlled. Even with major diet changes and repeatedly upping my insulin doses. Which means that she's been getting pumped full of sugar constantly for months. Which means that when the umbilical cord is clipped there's a significant chance that her blood sugar will drop significantly, leading to a stay in the NICU.

That, is my concern. I don't care how big she is, or why. I don't really even are that much about the fact that my sugar is uncontrolled. I do care about the possibility of how it will affect her health. That is why I follow my diet and stick myself with insulin twice daily. That is why "indulging" myself now means having a 2nd apple with peanut butter, as that's the sweetest thing I allow myself on a regular basis.

Anywho... kinda got off on a tangent there. Everything looked great at the ultrasound. So we'll keep hanging in there.

As always, thanks for checking in!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

This Summer is Gonna be Awesome

So the upcoming Summer has been a subject of quite a good amount of anxiety for me. Why? you ask. Well, I'll tell you.

First of all, we'll be welcoming a newborn into our home.

Then, there's the fact that I will be off work for the first time since I was... 15? Looking back on work (and way back including school in the mix), I have never had this much time away from daily scheduled obligations since I was 15. Which was a long time ago.

And then let's add in that Jena will be staying home with me (ie. not going to preschool). So for the first time in three years (she's only five, mind you), she will be home all Summer, not participating in the daily structured atmosphere of preschool. And since my parents watched her before she started preschool, she'll be staying home for the longest period of time in her life.

On the surface, all of these are good things. Really good.

But I also am keenly aware that they are all three major changes. Changes that will need adjusting to. Adjustments which will almost certainly cause at least a small amount of stress on our family.

And they're all happening at the same time.

I have been anxious about everything from just the stress of so much change to our family at once, to what will I feed Jena for lunch, to what will I eat for lunch.

What will we do to occupy our time? With me taking care of a newborn? And a five year old with lots of energy to burn?

So much anxiety over it.

Until recently.

Now, mind you I do still realize there will be some stress involved. And some anxious moments. And we'll probably go to McDonald's more than once simply because I forgot that I have to feed us lunch at home now, but...

There's so much good too.

I get to spend all Summer home with my girls.

I don't have to make Jena come in from playing outside, just because we have work/school the next day. I anticipate lots of chasing-of-lightening-bugs and other dusk fun.

My house might actually be clean. Maybe.

I can visit with friend or my parents whenever I want. No trying to squeeze visits into already busy nights & weekends.

We can visit Daddy at the firehouse during the week. No more waiting until a weekend when the stars align just so, so that he's on shift and we have nothing planned to do.

We can go to the park during the day. No squeezing it in after work/school and worrying that if we stay too late she'll be up too late then won't want to get up for school the next day.

We could maybe do a play date with some friends.

So much available. I know we won't do it all. But it's there. It's a real possibility. For the first time ever.

This Summer is gonna be awesome.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Thursday, April 17, 2014

I'm ready

There's been a lot of talk this pregnancy about the chance of pre-term labor.

This has led to a lot of anxiety on my part. First and foremost for Peanut's health. But then there's the other stuff: the nursery's not ready, the house is a wreck, we have no diapers, blah, blah, blah.

And then,  yesterday, at exactly 34 weeks pregnant, I just kinda had this moment:

I'm ready.

Not in a practical way. Nursery still isn't done. House is still a mess.

But in a mental and emotional way. I'm ready for this baby to come.

Which is both a calming feeling, and a frustrating one. Because I'm ready. Now. And so now we've reached the point where we just wait for our youngest daughter to make her presence known.

And whenever that is, it will be okay. Because now... I'm ready.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

General Update

Jena:

We've decided to give the public school a try next year. To be honest, from our experience so far and things we've heard from other parents we're not terribly optimistic, but we don't want to give up on the public school system without first at least trying.

I'm a public school kid, and had a great experience, but I also recognize that because of things like No Child Left Behind and Common Core, the schools that I went to and benefited so much from quite frankly may not exist anymore. But we want to at least try it.

The latest thing for Jena to start is Girl Scouts. It's brand new, but she is super-excited about it. So am I.

Jason:

The biggest news in Jason's world right now is that his business has taken off like gang-busters. We expected it to be busier this year than last, but it really has just exploded here in the past few weeks. I'm so proud of the work that he's done and it's so exciting to see his efforts pay off.

Me:

Well, most I'm gearing up to have a baby. But I guess you knew that. At work, they've hired a temp to fill in while I'm on maternity leave, and she started yesterday. It's a little weird to train someone for your job, when you have no intention of handing it over, you know?

Baby:

Baby is doing well. My blood sugar has seems to be much better controlled since they last upped my insulin, so that's good.

I've been having contractions off & on since last week, so that's a pain. Last night they were every 3 - 10 minutes... for seven hours. From around 7pm until the last time they woke me up at 2am. Needless to say I not only didn't sleep well, I'm also physically tired from my belly's activity.

Those are the major updates. As always, thanks for checking in!
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