Slowing Down

Recently I realized that I had had a headache for pretty much four days straight that even Tylenol wasn't really helping. I was also hot all the time. One morning it dawned on me to have Jason (as a registered EMT) check my blood pressure.

It wasn't good.

I had a regularly scheduled checkup with my endocrinologist a few days later, so I embarked on a few days of minor lifestyle changes in an effort to lower my blood pressure. One thing I've identified as a cause of stress in my life is that I feel very out of control, so I took some steps to take back some control.

Honestly, in an ironic twist, since becoming a SAHM I feel like I'm doing what everyone else tells me to do, or wants me to do way more than when I worked outside the home. I feel as though I have very little control over my daily motions. So that clearly needs to change.

One thing is that I decided to take a break from FlyLady. Even though it was a program that I chose to start, the truth is that every day I'm doing what she tells me. And at this point even that seems like too much.

I need to do what I want to do.

I also reduced my social media presence, and am actually surprised at how much that has helped, considering I do feel that I get most of my support community from social media. But it's also a constant barrage of contact to an introvert that needs quiet. Heck, I think the truth is we all need quiet at times.

And I made an effort to get at least six hours of sleep a night, which is a struggle for me. I struggle with insomnia, and tend to find after the kids go to bed as my most productive hours, so often find myself up till all hours of the night (morning). 

So I spent a few days relaxing more, letting my house get back to the crappy house it was before, not going online as much, etc.

The result? At my appointment my BP was still high, but not high enough that my doctor was concerned. What he was concerned about was that my resting pulse rate was extremely high. Even though this would be an uncommon side effect to my meds, it is possible, so we are making some modifications to the dosages for a month to see if there's any change, and I'm continuing some of my temporary lifestyle changes. I do plan on starting FlyLady back up soon, but we'll have to see  how things progress.

The truth is I've been struggling with quite a bit of anxiety and depression over the past few months and I think it finally caught up with me. There has been quite a bit going on behind the scenes, both big & small, that has just been difficult to deal with all at once.

While my numbers may not show it (yet?), I feel better about myself since making these changes. I'm going to continue looking at my life and how I can regain control in certain areas. I think that sense of not having control, whether real or perceived, was a major trigger for me, for the anxiety, the depression, and the stress.

Also - my project is still in the works, but delayed a bit by this. Keep watching for more updates!

So that's my update today. I hope you all are doing well.

As always, thanks for checking in!